One

Until these moments end you look surprised
that they are happening at all
that you could suddenly find yourself
in this situation
wondering why
you’re in a position
where you might wonder why.

Then when they’re done the feeling’s worse
your Enigin out of gasoline
your compass misaligned
so that true north is missing
and every movement that you make
feels misdirected

When they come again
they come like spies
underhanded and disguised
falling softly like a voice
or a sudden breaking of the heart

you look back on old numbers
old flames
old possibilities
old photographs of people that you can’t quite remember
because the memory is easier
purer
than this situation in which you find yourself

make a phone call
send a postcard
whatever suits you
just do it soon
then go back to where you wanted to be really
eyes up
looking at the stars
and feeling somehow more secure
knowing that you’ve left behind
the things that you’d thought left you

Two

I might wind up leaving you
it would hardly be a great surprise
I am the master of the disappearing act

I’ll do it with panache and style
like the ending of your favourite film
I’ll do it with a winning glance

I’ll find myself in other places
Wondering where I might have been
I’ll find myself regretting my mistakes

The easy thing is not in loving
The easiest thing of all is leaving
We act as if we’ve never been hurt
and never hurt each other
it’s easier
and simpler
and the biggest of lies

Innocence and experience
do their little dance forever
the one ignores the other in public
secret lovers
without the need for physical contact
until they find themselves alone

It’s hardly like I wanted you
It’s hardly like this came as a surprise
It’s hardly like I wanted you
Until all I wanted was you
Until you became the eclipse
Innocence and experience in one

I can’t make you promises
I can’t give you false dreams
I can’t give you any dreams at all
But I can give you this time
Wrapped up in music
And together we can make it what it might be.

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